Risky "J"
As you know, I've had crap luck with dating/guys, but as of late that has not been the case and I've been talking to/hanging out/messing around with this guy I'll call "J". So far I've been enjoying his company and we try to hang out as much as we can, but we both have very busy schedules. I work two jobs, while he's a law student at George Washington University. Anyway, so far so good and we make the time to hang out at least once/twice a week and we even got to spend Valentine's day together, but there's still a degree of uncertainty with him. For example, he's originally from California and he came to MD/DC for school. There's no guarantee he'll stick around when he finishes his degree. Also, he's been looking for summer internships in a variety of different places such as DC, Boston, New York, Atlanta, and San Fransisco. If gets accepted at any place other than DC, then I can count out on any summer fun with this guy. For the time being, I'm enjoying the moment with him, but I will say all this uncertainty does make me kinda nervous. I'm affriad of investing too much feelings into him and end up being hurt/dumped. On the other hand, if I end things based on this fear of "being hurt", I'll never know what he and I could become and I'll miss out on some good times. I have talked with him about this as well, and he said something along the lines of "I enjoy hanging out with you, but I can't promise anything, but I want to see how long this lasts and where it might go".
Life is about taking risks and I'm definitely risking a LOT when it comes to dating "J", but I think when it comes down to it, I'd be taking a bigger risk in not dating him and letting my fear overwhelm me. Sometimes "one year of love is better than a lifetime alone" and even if it does end for whatever circumstances, I'd hope he and I could remain friends and I can look back and say I had a great time with him, but until that day (if it happens) With all that being said, I've decided that I'm gonna continue make the most of my time with "J" and I'll take pleasure in every kiss, cuddle, evenings watching TV together, the dinners at Boston Market, and the shopping trips and continue to hope this is just the beginning of many more pleasant memories.
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