Flight (The blog I ment to post a couple months ago)

In all my almost 30 years of life I’ve never flown before, but as of this April that will change when my significant other & myself embark on a trip to Tampa., Florida. Why Tampa? Do you ask? Well, my significant other has an ex who lives in Tampa who’ll allow us to stay @ his place free of charge & I was told there are some cool things to see or do. I’m not sure what just yet, but I’ll take my boyfriends word for it, but mainly I’m just going for the sake of going on my first airplane ride. My boyfriend says that a flight to Florida would be a good way to get my fear of flying out of my system & to get me ready for any future trips we might go on.

I might be exaggerating by saying I have a “fear” of flying, but with it being something I’ve never done before & I will admit I am a little nervous. I’ve seen too many airplane disaster movies, such as “Alive” & “Final Destination” where characters have met an untimely demise while traveling by airplane. In real life airplane disasters always seem to make the headlines with very few survivors. Also, the September 11th tragedies are in the back of my mind & I guess there’s a fear that the airplane I’ll travel on will be hijacked by terrorists.

Maybe I am being a little bit silly & I’m sure the chances of my plane getting hijacked or going down in flames are highly unlikely, but I can’t help but not have those thoughts in the back of my mind. I definitely do want to go down to Florida & experience the scenery & I would like to further my travels & maybe eventually go overseas. I just need to get over my first flight & then I’m sure I’ll have no problems in the future.

The Possible Origins of JQHN & Those Like Him

It is said, and it is true
that just before we are born
a cavern angel put his finger
to our lips and says,
"Hush, don't tell what you know."
This is why we are born with
a cleft on our upper lips
and remembering nothing
of where we came from.

Orignal poem by
-Roderick Macleish

7 Days into 2007

Since I'm already seven days into the new year & that I have a bit of free time in between laundry chores, I figure I'd write about my plans for the upcomming year in the form of listing my new year's resolutions. Last year I was able to keep most of my resolutions & hopefully this year I"ll be able to keep all of them.

Resolution # 1
This is the one resolution I wasn't successful at keeping, but I really NEED to start saving more money. As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I really want to go to barber school & learn how to properly cut hair. Tuition for a good barber/cosmetology school isn't cheap. In addition to that, I just need to have more $ in case of any unexpected expenses. I hate to admit it, but the computer in which I'm writing this lovely blog is really on it's last legs & I need to start saving up some $ for a new computer.

Resolution # 2
Although I've come a long way at my job, I want to continue to learn my job & to learn it well. I know I don't want to work this job for the rest of my life, but it doesn't hurt to perfect my craft & that way I can return to it if something doesn't work. In addition to perfecting my job skills, I think I need to improve my relations with my coworkers. Although I'm not on bad terms with anyone (exept for my secretary, but that's another story for another blog), I'm not really friends with anyone either & I just seem to keep to myself in my cubicle while everyone else chats it up & jokes around. I don't want to come across as nonsocial & these are people I see for 40 hours a week which is longer than my family, friends, & significant other combined & maybe I can make a new friend/experience something new?

Resolution # 3
This might cut into my first resolution, but I really want to travel some more & possibly even travel by airplane. Last year I was able to expand my travels going to such places as New York City, Phillidelphia, PA & to various parts of Delware. This year I want to go beyond that. Also, I've never been on an airplane before (again maybe another story for another blog), but I feel as I'm approaching my 30th year of life I really need to overcome that phobia

Resolution # 4
This might sound kinda silly, but I want to continue to spend time with all my friends & family. I never seem to see anyone enough & I'm not sure if everyone knows how much I LOVE everyone & are so thankful to have everyone in my life. Sometimes we all get caught up in things that we don't really take the time to appreciate those we have in our lives or we lose touch or we stop talking over something petty. Anyway, if any of my friends or family come across this blog I just wanted to say I LOVE YOU!!!

OK, I think four is a good # of resolutions for the new year, but lets see how well I'm able to keep all of them & maybe as the new year progresses I might create new resolutions for myself. Also, it will be interesting to see if I have any new or amazing stories to share in my blogs?

Accident

I’m sorry, but I accidentally deleted your profile from my list of friends.
Although you live halfway across the country & I’ve never met you before, I swear it was an accident.

Yes, I find it extremely annoying when you post obnoxious bulletins where you brag about yourself, demand that everyone comment on your new photos or be deleted, or post stupid chain mail curses in which I might die or a horrible death within so many days if I don’t repost or respond, but it was still an accident that I deleted your profile from my list of friends.

When I physically clicked on your profile to delete from my list of friends and even afterwards when I see a message stating “Are you SURE you want to delete (insert name here) from your list of friends, it was still an accident & I didn’t’ mean to delete you from my list of friends.

Now that I think about it, I guess you can say it wasn’t really an accident but rather a mistake made on purpose and I’m sorry I deleted you from my list of friends.

Another 525,600 Minutes of Blogs

As the title states, I have now reached the 2-year anniversary of writing blogs on this site. As always, I have to pay homage to that “Cuteyoboy” who introduced me to this lovely site (two years ago on this day), but sadly I can’t say I talk to him anymore. Every now & then I’ll read his blog & for the most part it looks like he’s doing all right. Anyway, enough about him as this is my blog & since I FINALLY have a free moment this month, I figure I’ll take the opportunity to reflect on the year which was 2006 in a series of high points & low points (Many of which have been highlighted in earlier blogs).

HIGH POINTS:

1. Traveling: In 2006 I got to expand my travels & go to such places as Philadelphia, PA, New York City, & Delaware. In addition to that, I went on various camping/road trips to places such as Caledonia State Park & Lums Pond. Also, I can’t forget to mention the wonderful cabin trip my friends & I went to at Herrington Manor State Park

2. Friends: This year I had the opportunity to meet many new & exciting people & through these people I got to experience new things. In addition to the new friends, I had a lot more opportunities to hang out with my regular friends as well & attend their many CRAZY parties. (Quitting my job @ K-mart definitely freed up my weekends in which I could be social & hang out with my friends)

3. The Job: Although I was having a very difficult time at first & was at a point where I wanted to just quit, but I stuck it out & I slowly but surely started to learn the job & learned the job well. I’ve made a complete turnaround & I’m now actually starting to like the job. Who would’ve thought?

4. RENT: One can definitely see the influence this musical has on me (look @ the title of this blog LOL). Earlier this year, I got to finally see it live & it was magnificent. Although it didn’t star the Broadway actors I had grown accustomed to in the movie & the soundtrack, the actors were amazing & I still loved the play nonetheless. (Thanks for the invite Nick!)

5. Significant Other: Although I’ve talked to him for a while, it wasn’t until this year that he & I got the chance to meet, but he was well worth the wait. Since our meeting we have become GREAT friends/lovers & I look forward to our weekends together. Many of the wonderful traveling adventures mentioned above were with his company & I hope to continue going on many more adventures with him.

LOW POINTS:

1. Abercrombie Boy: You’d think I was living every gay man’s dream, but earlier this year (WAY before meeting my bf & before “A” for that matter) I’d meet this HOT Abercrombie boy online. He worked at the Abercrombie & Fitch at my local Mall & he looked like he came right out the pages of one of the store’s infamous catalogs. Although I knew he was totally shallow, lacked a LOT in the intelligence department, & was only interested in a hook up, I thought with my other head & decided to hang out with him. The date mainly consisted of he & I going back to my place where he wanted me to f**k him, but I just could not bring myself to do it & he was shown the door. Afterwards I felt so ashamed with myself for being so cheap, but I guess the redeeming factor is that I didn’t got through with it & I’d learn that there has to be some substance/intelligence in addition to style in order for me to find a person attractive.

2. Don Dwyer: Sadly, he got reelected by a margin of only 25 votes & that means I’ll have to listen to another 2 to 4 years of his anti-gay propaganda.

3. Money: This year it seemed like I’ve spent MUCH more than what I’ve saved & I’m nowhere near my goal of being able to afford going back to school & learning to cut hair.

Well, I think that concludes my high points & Low points for the past 525,600 minutes. Luckily, my high points outnumber my low points. For the most part 2006 was a pretty good year & it’s still not over as today is only 12/26/06 (I definitely intend to make the most of this week & weekend). All in all, I look forward to 2007 & writing another 525,600 minutes worth of blogs.

Thanksgiving 2006

For the first time in 5 years, I'll spend Thanksgiving with my family & it does feel sort of surreal. Yes, I'm sure it sounds strange that I've not spent Thanksgiving with my family (as you're supposed to spend the day with the family over a hearty meal), but it's not because I live too far away from my family or I've had a major falling out. For the past 5 years I've always had to work on Thanksgiving. I used to work a retail job & for whatever reasons (probably to try to beat out the competition) the store would be open regular business hours on Thanksgiving. I was always the unlucky one to work the 1-10pm shift. Anyway, now that I don't have to worry about work today, I can take a bit more time & relfect about the things I'm thankful for on this day of giving thanks.

1)My Health: I'll say that I'm in much better health than I was about 5 years ago. I'm more concious about my eating habbits & I make a point to exercize regularly. As I mentioned in last year's Thanksgiving blog, I used to work with disabled adults & I current work processing disability claims & to see the struggles these people go through on a day to day basis is heartwrenching & I'm glad I'm not in a similar situation. I'm not sure if I could handle the anguish & discrimination of being disabled.

2) My Family: Although we don't see eye to eye on many things & I don't really see most of my family that often, I know my family loves me & looks out for my best interests.

3) My Friends: As I've said in previous blogs, I'm truly blessed to have a large quantity of quality friends. I know if I were ever in trouble or needed help they'd be there for me. I'm also happy to mention that my # of friends has increased over the past year & with each new friend comes new experiences. I'll even mention how I'm thankful that I've been able to make amends with a few ex-lovers & proud to say they're among my list of friends.

4) My Job: I'm thankful that I am employed & in the past year I've made great improvements. I'm also thankful that I only have to work ONE job which now allows me the free time to spend holidays with the family & time with my friends. Although I'm not making tons of money & can live a lavish lifestyle, I can say that I can live comfortably with my current salary.

5) My Significant Other: I'm thankful that I have such a wonderful boyfriend. I've had such a blast hanging out with him & I look forward to many more fantastic times. He is really a great, sweet, carring guy & I'm not sure if I can say it often enough.

All in all, I'm thankful for this life & the above things that make my life so worth living. Ok, I think I've said enough because I need to start getting ready to see my family on this Thanksgiving holiday.

One Year Later

A year ago on this day I'd begin my journey as a disability claims adjudicator & I'll say it has been an interesting roller coaster ride with many ups & downs as well as twists & turns.

I remember I spend much of October 2005 writing about this possible "governemnt job", but I wasn't really sure what it was I was gettng myself into. I even refered to the job with the wrong Acronyn. I thought I was applying/interviewing for a job at DORS (Department of Rehabilitation Services) LOL. Although my job has in association with DORS, I'd later find out that I'm really working for the SSA (Social Security Administration) as part of their DDS (Disability Determination Services)department. I'd also learn that the job is a major change from what I was use to. Instead of working hands on with disabled people, I'd be confined to a cubicle processing disability cases.

At first I found the job very confusing & for a good couple months I was struggling with my caseload. I even came to a point where I was about to throw in the towel & just quit, but with the encouragement of some of my coworkers & just my stubborness of not wanting to give up, I gave the job another chance. I'm not sure what happened, but all of a sudden the job started to make sense and evereything seemed to click. Around March of this year I started to get the hang of my job & my cases started to move. By June of this year I started to receive compliments from my supervisors & the medical staff. Not too long ago I got the following e-mail from one of our psych staff:

"Jqhn, thanks for the great PRTF on Ms. Thomas; ss# ***-**-****. You created a concise, great PRTF. Those PRTF's like yours makes our jobs so much quicker!
Thanks again, for all your hard work.
Dr. W"

Also, in the past 2 months I have been able to decrease my pending from 120 plus cases to a current caseload of only 88 cases. In addition to that, the week of October 30th I cleared a record number of 21 cases & was awarded the “star producer title” from my current supervisor. Today I had a review with my supervisor & she had nothing but good things to say about me & my work ethic. It was just a good feeling to hear such praise. Also, it doesn't hurt to hear that I'll be receiving a nice pay increase as well : )

All in all, it's amazing how in a year's time I can go from working a job in which I had no idea what I'm getting into, being totally clueless, & having such rough time to the point in which I wanted to quit to doing an outstanding job & being one of the star producers at my job. It definitely has been an interesting ride so far.