Flashing Forward and Backwards In the Company of Friend with Benefits (so they think)

As you know from a previous blog, I met a guy online named "J" and we seemed to hit it off at first and had created some nice memories, but I'd later find out he just wanted to use me for sex and had no intentions of being in a relationship with me. With that being the case, I decided to drop off contact with him.

Flash forward a couple months later, I'd meet another guy online named "REKO". Although he and I hit if off and hung out a couple times, I've realized he'd make a better friend than a boyfriend and he agreed, so he and I are just friends (no benefits). Anyway, one evenining I was haning out with "REKO" I'd find out he knew "J" and claimed how "J" Liked him, but "REKO" wasn't interested and eventually blew "J" off. Apparently "J" was upset, since he really liked "REKO".

Flash back to around my B-day, "J" reestablishes contact with me and wishes me a happy B-day, he even attempted to invite me to his housewarming party (Which I declined.

Now flash forward to the present, through friendly conversation "J" finds out that I know "REKO" and learns that "REKO" blew him off. "J" claimed that he felt upset/lied to. Apparently "REKO" told "J" he wasn't able to hang out with him because he was in Idaho, when in actuality he was hanging out with me LOL. Anyway, this might sound mean, but I sorta took pleasure that "J" suffered a broken heart because of all the crap he put me through with messing around with me, but not loving me etc......

Now flash foward to right now, "J" wants to hang out with me and be my friend, but this would be frienship with benefits. I will admit I really did enjoy the times with "J" and I have been a bit "frusturbated", but should I really engage in this "freindship with benefits"? Accodring to "J" the friendship with benefits "allows people who have excelent sexual chemistry to enjoy each other even if they don't click on other levels". I think that is a load of crap, because he hasn't really taken the time to get to know me on other levels. For most of the time he and I were together earlier this year, I'd come over to his house late at night and I'd just mess around with him etc......

All in all, although getting back together with "J" and having a Friendship with benefits would cure my frusturbation and I'd have a really great time with "J", but I think I'm worth more than just being someone's friend with benefits or fuck buddy. Yes, the times "J" and I had were wonderful, but I'm sure if I hold out and save myself for someone who really loves me, the time together will be all the more magical : )
-Now the question is will I really be able to hold out until I find that person who really loves me?