It's not you and it's all me

"it's not you and it's all me"

I seem to hear this quote a LOT when it comes to guys and dating. I'll do one of the following......meet a guy/become intimate with him/get into a relationship and afterwards I'll hear that lovely quote. Also, that quote will be followed with something along the lines of "I still want to be friends" which from my exerprience, both quotes are total bullshit.

For example, Last fall/winter when I was dating my now ex-boyfriend Dan, he made this big speech how I'm a "great guy and can do better than him" and how "he needs stuff to work out" and "it's not you/It's all me". Needlesss to say he and I brake up since he claimed there was so much wrong with him. Anyway, I guess things weren't all that bad with him because maybe a month later he's back into the clubbing scene messing around with ohter guys and has made NO effort to keep in touch with me. In additon to Dan, I'd meet a guy online earlier this year named "Tim". He and I spoke online a couple of times and we seemed to hit it off. Also, I should note that his personal claimed he was "looking for a relationship/Dating" and when talking to him he made no mention of NOT wanting to date. Anyway, I'd meet up with him at his workplace and I thought we had hit it off in person, but I come home and see an e-mail with the whole "It's not you/it's me" bullshit speech and how he doesn't have time to date. Anyway, having heard those lovely words before, and taking another good look at his profile which says he wants to meet people to "date", I called him out on his bullshit. Again he stressed how "it's him and not me" and how he "wanted to be friends". Again needless to say, I have not heard from him since and his profile still says how he's looking for a guy to "date".

Finally, there's "D". I met him online about a year ago and he and I have talked/flirted online. Also, he and I seemed to have a LOT of similar interests/hobbies etc.. Last night I hung out/messed around with him, I've been looking forward to meeting him since we seemed to hit it off so well online and jumped at the opportunity to finally see/mess around with him. Anyway, today I get an e-mail with that lovely quote and how he wants to be "friends". Despite the fact I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, I'm not gonna hold my breath.

All in all, I wish guys would just be honest and not say those damn "it's not you, but it's me" words because obviosuly there's something about me that's making people want to say that. Maybe they're insecure around me/don't have the balls to commit to or be honest with me? I just feel that quote is such a cop out and it's easy to shift the blame on yourself than to be honest. If there is soemthing truly wrong with me, let me know so I can try to fix it for you or the next guy, but if it's something that I can't control then fuck it and fuck you!