Blah day

I'll say my life was on a nice uphill climb leading up to my Birtday on July 10'th. I had a wonderful Birthday bash with all my friends and lots of love from most of my online buddies, a lot of great dating prospects came my way, I was offered a possible great job opportunity, and my life was heading on track towards the goal of going to cosmetology school and eventually working as a barber. Now flash forward 20 days later and I'm feeling very "Blah".

Although relationship with my friends is still great, My prospects for dating have dwindled a bit. There have been a couple of guys I was talking to, but there wasn't anything special going on. There's one guy I'm talking to/hanging out with who could be a possibility, but he's a bit too young and I'm still trying to get to know him. I don't want to just settle for him because he "could" make a good boyfriend, when there might be a guy who "would" be a perfect boyfriend/life partner. Maybe I'm just looking for too much at one time?

As for the management position at my retail job, I have not heard anything outside of "I gave the resume to my supervisor and if he's interested he'll give you a call" As of yet, I have not heard anything. I'll say I'm both annoyed, but relieved. Although a management job at my retail job would be some extra $ and could mean having to only work two jobs. I'm not 100% passionate about working as a manager for my workplace. I know it will be valualbe training for when/ if I do run my own business, but at least with that I'll be managing over something I'm passionate about as opposed to regular everyday household items/foods/clothing that my store sells.

As for the cosmetology school, I still want to do it, but I seem to be having some difficulty saving up for it. I asked to work extra hours at my retail job and they obliged at first, but mid summer is always the slow season and hours are often cut. I was given the entire weekend off, which is a rarity since I never get a weekend off unless I ask for it weeks if not months in advance. So I'm not really making any extra money and if I'm lucky for this next pay period, I hope to break even and make as much $ as I did before I asked for the extra hours. Also, my regular bills are still there so in many cases all this extra $ is going right to that.

Anyway, now that I have this weekend off and no $, I'm just kinda here at home vegetating. I don't know why, but I just feel so uncreative/unmotivated. I know there are so many other things I can do out there. I've got passions to pursue and dreams to chase and I know I'm never gonna do either if I'm just here at home. Well, I am off tomorrow and that's 24 hours in which I can do anything, so we'll see what the new day will bring. Also, I do plan on attneding a friend's party tonight so the day isn't over just yet..... I just gotta get rid of the "blah" and hopefully writing this blog helped get the "blah" out.

Egg

Through and online buddy I met this guy named Mike. He's a pretty nice guy and he and I have chatted online for about a month now. We both share an interest in Anime and have similar outlooks on life. Since we've hit it off so well, he and I made plans to hang out yesterday and our date started out fairly routine/normal, but after dinner we'd recieve a gift of an egg.

He and I were walking up and down the strip mall, chatting about various things, and pretty much minding our business. Then a green low-rider truck comes speeding by us and an egg is hurled at us. It happened so fast and it took a minute to register as to what just happened, but I noticed a smashed egg at our feet and the truck speeding off. Luckily for us the egg didn't hit us and that asshole driver didn't get the satisfaction of hitting us.

Sadly it would be on Mikes first date with me that he'd experience this anti-gay hatred (that's the only reason we could think of as to why we were targeted). Also, According to Mike, he's never had to deal with anything like this and he was visibily shaken. As for me, I've dealt with my fair share of anti-gay violence and discrimination etc..... so I kinda found this situation kinda funny. Frist of all, the driver of that truck was a total coward. Instead of confronting us face to face or whatever, he had to resort to throwing an egg at us and then on top of that his dumb ass couldn't even hit us. I'd say we were very easy targets. In additon to failing to connect with his intended targets, he definitely failed at trying to scare me off/intimidate me because those days of feeling ashamed of being gay are over. Also, it's gonna take a LOT more than a egg to put me back in the closet LOL.

The situation is so immature and foolish and maybe that driver doesn't deserve to be immortalized in a blog, but I look at it this way..... he'll be forever known as a coward and a pussy who couldn't hit his intended targets with an egg. Also, like many gay bashers he's probably a closet queen who's jellous that my friend and I can be open and comfortable with ourselves. All in all, I just feel sorry for people like that and maybe next time, I'll give him a free shot to hit me with anohter egg, but I'm sure his dumb ass couldn't even do that LOL

Hasty Career Move?

As I had mentioned in a previous blog, I'm interested in a career in the barber/salon feild and how I was gonna work extra hard to follow my dreams. Well, all of that is still true and since the begining of this month I have been working a ton of exrra hours at my retail job so I can set aside $ to pay for this schooling in addition to my regular 35-40 hours/week that I put in at the Non-profit agency. Although I knew it was gonna be hard, I didn't realise how much this is taking out of me and also it cuts into my time to have a soical life. Also, it's funny now that I've almost cut out all my time for a social life it is now that I'm starting to meet some nice guys online or in person. It's so hard trying to find a healthy balance between work, guys, and saving up/planning to attend school, but last week I think I may have found a nice option.

At my Retail job I noticed an advertisement for a HR manager. I figured I'd give it a shot and since I've worked at this retail job for over 4 years now and the experience I've recieved at the non-profit agency. Also, I assumed the Salary of a HR manager would be at least the same ammount as both jobs combined. With this in mind, I update my resume and write an impressive cover letter and submit it to the manger the following day. Upon giving that letter/resume to the manager, he interviews me on the spot for the position. He starts off by psyching me out. For example, he says "JQHN! You shoulda used spell check" and I immediately appologise. He then proceeds to tell me "JQHN, you need to be more confident in yourself. I was just kidding". After a bit of nervous laughter he and I proceed to interview. I'm honest with him about my salary requirements/expectations and I tell him about my goal of going to cosmetology school and perhaps running my own barber shop/ Men's body spa. He tells me how the $ isn't in my expected salary range and he's not sure if the position is right for me. He then tells me about the possibility of becomming a manager and the perks/benefits of that. For example, the salary range will be well over $35,000/year and how if I want to run my own business I'll need the management experience. Also, he mentioned about how banks won't give loans to new businesses unless the individual has management experience. He tells me to think about it and to get back with him if I want to make the commitment. 24 hours later, after a discussion with my mother and a horrible day at the non-profit job, I call the manager and tell him I want to pursue management training.

Right now I feel excited and nervous about this situation. Yes, the money will be better than what I'm currently making, it will definitley relieve the stress of working two jobs, and it can allow me some free time to hang with my frineds/guys. On the other hand, I'll have to leave the disabled clients at my non-profit job (all of whom I've become attached to and vice versa), and I know as a manager the stress levels/responsibilites will be much greater. I'm worried If I'm up for it. Also, My goal is to go to that cosmetology school and make a career out of cutting/styling men's hair. I'm affriad this new job might side-track my goals/dreams and how can I be sure they'll be accomdating of my school schedule.

Anyway, as of yet nothing has changed and maybe I'm just creating worries for myself, but I'd be foolish to turn down an opportunity that could better myself. Much like cutting hair, retail management is a skill that can be taken anywhere and it doesn't mean I'll be stuck at my current job for the rest of my life. I guess nothing is gained if something isn't risked, but I guess it comes down to me being affriad of losing track of my dream.