Thanksgiving

I could spend my time bitching about how I have to work later today and will miss out on yet another Thanksgiving with the family, but I've learned that bitching about something really isn't going to change anything so I'd better make the best out of the situation. Also, I made it a point not to use this blog site as a forum to just bitch and vent about things beyond my control. Anyway, as I stated in my previous blog, this retail job has recieved my two weeks notcie and after Deceber 4th I won't have to worry about working weekends or holidays anymore (unless I really wanted to) : ) Also, with today being Thanksgiving I really should take the time to reflect and give thanks for the many things I do have. Anyway, I'd figure I'd list the many things I'm thankful to have
(in no specific order of importance).

1) Although it sucks that I have to work today, I'm thankful that I do have a job and a steady flow of income. Also, I'm thankful I was able to secure that job for the MD State Department of Education and hope I'll be able to use the experience I gain in my future endevors.

2) I'm thankful that I have shelter, food, and the everyday items one needs to live. I feel so bad for those people down south who were affected by the Hurricanes or others around the world who don't have a place to live. It's funny how we take simple things for granted like electricity or running water and how lost we'd be without them.

3) I'm definitely thankful for my family. Although we've had our ups and downs and don't always see eye to eye on MANY things. I'm thankful I didn't come from a broken home or grew up with any serious family drama.

4) I'm thankful for my health. With my years working for the nonprofit agencey and now at my new job where I process disability claims. I'm thankufl that I am able to normally function and don't have any painful, disfiguring, or mentally challenging disabilities.

5) Last but not least, I'm thankful for all my friends. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but I'm truly blessed to have such a large amount of quality friends. They are all people who accept me for me and love me unconditionally. I'm proud to say EVERYONE in my social network of friends is there for me. Over the years I've had such a blast clubbing, camping, shopping, road tripping, traveling, partying, and just plain hanging out. I truly hope this is just the begining of many more fun times.


In conclusion, it's funny how years ago I used to take so many things I've listed above for granted and I'd bitch and moan about so many trival things without ever looking at the brighter side. Although I do remain somewhat pessimistic towards certain things in life, I do think I've come a LONG way and for that I'm truly thankful.

Rambling On About My Resignation

Yesterday, I made the difficult decison to resign from my part-time retail job and I gave my two weeks notice. I figured that with me working this job at DORS and making enough $ I really don't need the extra money at my retail job or the stress. Although the point of me getting this job at DORS was to consolodate my work load, I still feel kinda bad about leaving my retail job for a variety of reasons, but I'm still sticking with my decision to leave.

Yes, this is a job I've worked at for four years (the longest I've ever been at a job to date) and I'm higly respected by my peers/the management and to tell the truth the job can be fun at times, but in these past four years I've missed out on so much. I had to work almost every holiday and with me working primarily on the weekends, I've missed out on so many social functions with my friends or my friends' Birthdays. Whenever I did need time off, I had to request for things month's in advance and that didn't necessarily mean I'd get the weekend/day off.

It will definitely be nice to have my weekends and holidays free and not have to stress out about working two jobs, but it will be a wierd adjustment. This retail job has been such a part of my life for the past four years, but the question is do I want this job to define who I am? It's just interesting how one can get so consumed with work that his/her job literally becomes an extension of themself and that really has been the case for me and this retail job. Also, it's sorta a security blanket. When I was working the retail job and my non-porift job, I could always pick up more hours at one job if the other one wasn't working out, but I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore being a Government employee and with me giving my two weeks I'm at least leaving on good terms and if I ever had to go back for whatever reasons, I could resume my old job, but why would I want to do that?

In DORS, I'll Keep Everyone Posted

Well, it has been a week since I've started my new job at DORS and things are going ok. If I had accepted the position the first time around, I would be at the same level as my peers, but due to all that temporary job/no benefits nonsense and then later offering me the actual job I applied/interviewed for weeks later after my first decline. Anyway, I started two weeks later than my peers and I was kinda thrown into the trainings and this past week I had to familiarize myself with so many terms, disablitity laws, and procedures. In addition to that, I had to learn the computer system and how to process my cases. BTW, at the moment I have three clients on my caseload and expect more in the comming weeks.

Despite starting later than my peers and haivng so much to learn, I'd like to say I've held up pretty well and I'm starting to become comfortable with the computer system and getting a feel for my clients and how to best serve them. I will say I've still got a LOT to learn, but I just got to remember to relax, ask questions, and work to the best of my ability. In addition to that, I've just got to keep my eye on the main prize which is being able to save up enough money to go to barber/cosmetology school.

I'll keep everyone posted..........

The Big Day is Less Than 24 Hours Away

This has been about two months in the making, but as of 9am tomorrow I report for orientation for my new job working for DORS. I've been excited, anxious, and nervous to begin this job and I've been spending much of today preparing and worrying a bit for tomorrow.

As for preparations, I've reviwed over all my benefit and tax forms, used mapquest to get the directions to and from, gathered whatever necessary documentation, and picked out a nice outfit tomorrow consisting of gray kahkis, a blue shirt, and a grayish/blue pattern tie. Earlier today I visited my favorite barber shop and had my hair trimmed up. I kinda wanted to buzz my hair off again like I did in September, but since I'll be working an office job I want to keep things conservative. I'm sure when I get in there and warm up to everyone I can act like myself. Anyway, as far as looks, directions, and having all the proper paperwork is concerned, I'm good to go.

As for worries, When driving from the barber shop, I noticed that the "check engine" light came on in my car and I hope that's nothing serious. Last week, I took my car in for some minor winterization work, such as an oil and fluid changes. I was informed by the dealership mechanics that my car needed some other repairs. I went ahead and made an appointment for this friday to have all that stuff taken care of, but now that I see this light on in my car, I'm half affraid something will happen en route to my new job. I just hope things hold up until friday when I do take it in for work. My other worry is about the job itself. I hope this job will keep me busy/challanged. I know some government jobs can be very borring and in most cases a person can finish his/her work in a couple hours and then spend the rest of the day fooling around onlineor whatever.

All in all, I should just focus on preparing for tomorrow and not get too carried away with worries. I still need to give the job a try before I wonder what the work/atmosphere will be like. Although my car could be a legitimate worry, I know in many cases the "check engine" light can come up for many trivial reasons and I did call my friend Daniel (who is a mechainc) to come check up on my car later today. I just wish tomorrow were here, but since it isn't, I'm goning to concentrate on enjoying today to the best of my ability. As they said in the musical "RENT"........."No day but today" and I couldn't think of any better words to live by : )

Whatever you say can and will be used against you in the court of "Blogs"

I've read some articles about blog users who've been fired from thier jobs because they've written blogs critcizing thier work environments or have posted confidential information/company secrets in thier blogs. In addition to that, I've read about friendships ending because someone talked trash about the other etc......Anyway, last night I've had my first expereince where a past blog I posted came to bite me in the ass (sorta kinda).
I had forgotten that I gave "J" the web address to this site/figured he'd never read anything, but he recently checked out my blogs and was offended by something I had posted about him on August 11th. I understand his annoyance, but as I told him I write what's on my mind and how I feel at that time. Also, what he along with other people fail to realize is that....when I write a blog, that's how I'm feeling at that particular moment in time. If I write a blog when I'm depressed, that doesn't mean that I'm a depressing person.

In addition to that, I don't write blogs that frequently and whatever blogs I wrote about him, took place before he and I supposedly "made up". He and I had broken off contact Earlier this year and over the summer out of the blue I get an invite to a party. Since we had stopped talking, I figured he just invited me at random/was looking for bodies to attend his party. Anyway, I'd later find out that was not the case and more importantly that he and I shared a mutual friend in "REKO".........Anyway, reread the blog I posted on the 11th for furhter details.

When it came to he and I, I'll admit I made my fair share of mistakes. Before "J" I had never dated a law student and I wasn't aware of how busy he truly was and maybe I shoulda appreciated the few times he did make for me. Also, I will admit it was kinda wrong for me find amusement when "REKO" snubbed "J", but at the time I was hurt and in his own words "we didn't work out because you couldn't understand how busy I usually I am and how I have to prioritize things". Although I did my fair share of wrongs when it came to "J" and I, I won't say that he's a saint eihter. I believe if he truly "liked" me he woulda made more time for me, he woulda taken the time to get to know me (beyond the bedroom) and hang out with my friends and I etc. He seemed to have time for "REKO", his many house partys, and to meet with his Libertarian friends etc.. Also, I was very open about my feelings towards him and literally wore my heart on my sleve. whenever I'd ask him how he felt about me or ask any questions in general, he'd always answer with vague answers such as "I don't know", "maybe", "We'll see", or "cool".

Anyway, I'm probably digging a bigger hole for myself and probably not winning any favors with "J" posting this blog, but I think I've learned my lessons about sharing my blog address to just anyone and for now on I'll watch what I post online because someone actually WILL read it and WILL take it out of context and WILL use it against me. Now I understand why some of my friends are not making their blogs public or deleting thier accounts alltogether.

All in all, It would be a shame if I never talked to "J" again, because I really did like him and still think he's a great guy. He'll definitley make one heck of a good lawyer or politician. When he's famous I'll probably be one of those who'll say "Oh I remember when".

Although it would be a shame if we don't talk again due to a prior blog, I've got other things going on right now such as my new job, the upcomming holidays, my grandmother's health, and some of the nice, new, and sexy people I'm currently talking to online. When it comes to these dating/relationship prospects, I'll just make sure I don't share my blogs with any of them or not write ANYTHING about them, but what fun is that?

Nah! Nah! Nah! Hey! Hey! Hey! GOODBYE!

Yesterday was my last official day at my non-profit job and I'd say things went pretty well. All my coworkers took me out to lunch at Bertucci's and I was given a certificate of appreciation by the executive director of the agency.

Although I appreciate this nice gesture,I will say I was somewhat annoyed at some of my coworkers at the goodbye lunch. As you know, I caught a group of my coworkers talking trash about me and gossiping about me on thier lunch break and that created some drama/tension between my co-workers and I. Also, it was because of those nasty/mouthy women that I was motivated to find another job. So I guess in a way I should thank them for motivating me to get a BETTER job and with this better job I can FINALLY start to have a decent social life and save up $ for barber/cosmetology school. Anyway, to get back to the point. I was just annoyed that these women and the bitch ass computer tech who were talking trash about me and treating me crappy, had the nerve to attend my goodbye lunch. If I didn't like someone you wouldn't catch me going to their party or signing any cards, but I guess they just wanted the lunch etc......Also, while I was giving my speech I could see them rolling thier eyes and talking amongst themselves. Maybe I should have called them out on it right then and there, but I figured I'd leave on a good note and not create any last minute drama. With thier nasty attitudes and bitchy personalities, I'm sure they'll go very far in life (Sarcastic)

Now with my non-profit job out of the way, I need to focus my attention to my retail job and work on leaving that, but for some reason I feel guilty/bad about turning in a letter of resignation. It could be beacuse I've worked there for 4 years and unlike my non-profit job, I'm well respected by my superiors and peers. There might be the occasional dumbass teen they hire who doesn't like me, but usually that person doesn't last long. Also, I guess I feel sorta bad beacuse they're understaffed and with it being holiday season they'll need me. I did write up a letter saying I could NOT work durring the week, but I have made myself avaialbe on weekends from 4-10pm. I figure I can do that and then ease myself out of this job.

I find it so odd how I was able to leave my non-profit job so easily especially when I've made so many attachments to the clients and invested so much of my creativity in that job, but at my retail job where I've been made to work all sorts of crappy hours/holidays and put up with dumb ass customers and yet I'm finding it so hard to just leave this job? Anyway, I guess I'll see how they react to my letter and I'll take it from there and maybe then I can finally work up the nerve to say GOODBYE!