525,600 Minutes of Blogs

As of yesterday I have officially written year's worth of blogs. Although I didn't write blogs every hour of every day or every day for that matter, I do feel as if I've written enough for one/myself to notice my growth in a years time.

Before I created this account/heard of Blogspot, I've had some friends tell me about their "Livejournals" and asked me to read their journals and or leave coments. The idea of having an online journal sounded kinda cool, but I never really taken the idea seriously until a year ago.

It was the day after Christmas and I was online talking to an online buddy about my current problems. At the time my then significant other broke up with me a little before Christmas (24 hours after my annual holiday party actually) and I was rather depressed. My friend told me about his online journal on "Blogspot.com" and how that helps him cope with problems etc..... I figured I'd give it a shot and with his assistance I created this account. Although I really don't talk to him that much anymore, I'll definitely always credit him for introducing me to blogspot.com. In a way I think of it as his belated Christmas gift to me : )

After reading my jourals, one can read about many highlights such as my first time skiing, the Tori Amos Concert, the Cherry Blossom festival, my new dog, and my new job (Which seemed to dominate much of my most recent posts). In additon to the highlights, I also wrote about my low points, such as in late summer when I had a resurfacing of depression and had one too many "blah days". In addition to that, I seemed to have a hell of a time with dating earlier this year and suffered some major heartbreak from both "J" and "T". Also, I don't want to forget the complete and utter disappointment from "D" (It's not you and It's all me)and the dumb asses I breifly dated this year.

By rereading my past journal entries, I've been able to better learn from my mistakes and I'll say the biggest mistake I made was maybe being a bit too honest about my feelings towards certain people ("J") and not realizing that people do/can read one's journal and whatever you say can and will be used against you. I will admit that I may have been a bit harsh on him, but in my defense, I was very hurt by the way he treated me and I used my blog as a means to vent/make sense of the then current situation. For future reference, I'm just gonna be careful who I share my blogs with and I'll make sure not to be so harsh, but if the person is a total asshole towards me all bets are off.

All in all, I feel as if I've been true with my feelings and expressed them honestly in my blogs. In additon to that, I truly do feel I have grown as a person and these blogs nicely chart my rise throughout the year. I'm not sure what to expect in 2006, but it is my goal to continue to learn and grow as a person. I want to learn new things, meet new people, go to new places. Whatever I do, where I go, or who I meet, I'll be sure to write it somewhere in this blog. Here's to another 525,600 minutes of blogs.........."No day but today"

40 Questions About 2005

Although we still have another week until 2005 is over, I figure I'd go ahead and post this as a blog and if anything exciting happens I'll just add it onto this blog. Many of my friends are posting this as a bulliten on their myspace profiles, but I figure I'll do it here : ) I've always been sort of a rebel LOL

Take a look back.... 40 questions about 2005.

Was 2005 a good year for you?

-Although there were a few low points and September was a crappy month, the year as a whole was pretty good to me.

2) what was your favorite moment of the year?

-I'd have to answer this as "Moments" because there was no one favorite moment of 2005, but rather a series of events. I could list them all out now, but I'm sure I'll answer it in the context of these questions.

4) where were you when 2005 began?

-At home on my computer and I gave an IM kiss to another online friend as he and I were both online at midnight.

5) who were you with?

-I was online (see above), but earlier I celebrated my Brother's B-day with he and his girlfriend (his B-day is December 31st)

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?:

-Hopefully with friends, my brother and his girlfriend.

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?:

-See above

8) Did you keep your New Year's resolution of 2005?:

-Not sure what it was, if I had one, but I try to learn from my previous year's mistakes. I think I did learn from my mistakes but in the process made some new ones LOL

9) Do you have a New Year's resolution for 2006?:

-To save more $ for school and continue to make time for myself/be social with my friends........Maybe find "LOVE"

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?:

-Yes, but it didn't last

11) If yes, with who?:

-There was a Libertarian Law student and then later a Conservative Christian Republican (opposites attract I guess)

13) If yes, are you still in love with them?:

- I still have feelings, but I know to move on

14) Do you regret it?:

-yes and no. Although it sucked that it would end up in heartbreak (on my end of course), but the times I had with each were wonderful

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?

-Yes.

17) Who are your favorite new people in your life?

-Nick, Matt, Mel, Rico, Louie, David, Brent, Jesse, Cody, Chad (sorta new), Dustin, Steve, Cedric, Quinton, and Chakka

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?: -

-July and December is comming along up pretty nice

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?:

-No, that should be a new resolution

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?:

-Not enough, I most of my road trips/travels were here in MD

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?:

-The year started with me breaking up with my signficant other

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?:

-Yeah, Stacey and Beth who moved out of state for School

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?:

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Crash, Rent and The Trip

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?:

-I'm not much on top 40 hits

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?:

-The Beekeeper by Tori Amos or Make Believe by Weezer

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?:

-One

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?

-Tori Amos at Pier 6 in Baltimore with Katie. It was such a beautiful concert with a wonderful setlist. Also, I got to breifly meet Tori Amos' parents as they drove past us.

28) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?

-At my B-day party and Holiday party

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?

- Nope, 10 years and counting of being clean

30) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?:

-The way things turned out between "J" and I

31) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?

-I called out from my then current job (UCP) saying I had a hurt back, but in reality I was filling out paperwork for my now current government job.

32) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?:

-I'm sure I offended somebody somewhere and for that I'm sorry

33) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005

-Yes, I caught a bunch of co-workers were talking trash about me at UCP, but you know what.......that was the motivation I needed to find my current job with better $ and benefits

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?:

-Too much LOL

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?:

-Being able to get back in touch with old friends and patch things up with an ex

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?:

I'm not sure, but I'm sure there's some drunken photos of me taken this year that would ruin my chances of ever becomming president LOL

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change it, what would you change?:

-I would have made the wonderful moments last longer and teh crappy moments a LOT shorter.

40) What are your plans for 2006?

-Continue to learn, grow, and experience new things with all my friends and loved ones and meeting new/exciting people. I'm sure I'll document it all in these blogs.

NOTE: 12-24-05
As I reread this blog I noticed that I totally forgot to type question # 12 so I guess the title should have been 39 questions about 2005 LOL....Anyway, if I remember correctly # 12 was a stupid question anyway so who cares and I'm sure that will be a blog in itself in upcomming months.

Success Will Come

I know I've been writing a lot about my new job as of late, but it's really been a main thing going on in my life. Think about it you can't spend 40 hours at a place and not have it stay on your mind. Anyway, I've mentioned before I've now been at this new place for over a month now and I'll say it's not a bad job, but it does get frustrating at times because I'm still learning the ropes and when it seems like I know something, I find out I did it all wrong : (
It really does help talking to my co-workers who have been there a while because it reminds me that everyone was in my position at one time or another and have made all the same mistakes. From talking to these vets, I've learned a few pointers which you really could apply to any job. Here they are:

1) Stay focused and learn the job well.

-Once I truly learn this job, I'll have acquired a new skill that I could take with me anywhere.

-Alhtough I don't have any plans to relocate in the near future, it's still good to have a skill to keep me employed when I need $ to keep me going.

2) Stay organized and ask questions.

-The worst questions are the one's that go unasked and most likely everyone else has the same concerns.


3)Have patience.

-I'm told that this job is contantly evolving. For example, we're now going entirely paperless and I'm one of the first training sessions which is doing almost everything electronically. In addition to that, some of the vets have told me that the job has taken most of them over year to really learn.

4) Participate in agency activites.

-This really would give me exposure and I'll probably make more friends if I'm involved in more activities.

5) Have fun doing the job.

-This is what I've applied to my retail job and look how hard it has been for me to quit becuase I'm having too good of a time. LOL

6) Customer service is always important.

-I'm not sure exaclty how this fits in, since it's the people who're comming to us and it's really in our hands if they're approved for benefits or not, but still I just have to remember that these are people and not just anohter # on my caseload.

All in all, if I follow these six steps I'll definitely be successful at this new job and as I learn/train things will hopefully get easier for me. I will say, I think I've written enough about this new job and I KNOW this job will be the furthest thing from my mind this weekend as I PARTY with all my wonderful friends : ) and maybe that will be anohter blog entry.

Updates: The Job, The Boys?, and The Partys

It seems like forever since I've written a blog and I figure I'll go ahead and update all my loyal readers (all two of them LOL)about the things going on in my life. For the most part I've been preoccupied with the following things, my job, the guys I'm talking to, and the upcomming holiday/birthday parties.

THE JOB

It's hard to believe, but I'm now over a month into my new job. With how much I've been doing/learning it feels like I've been there longer, but in reality it's only been a little over a month. Although I started later than my peers, I've pretty much caught myself up with all my trainings and I'm at the same training level as my peers. I'm sorta catching on to things and things that seemed very overwhelming, such as the computer system and all the medical terminology, now it all seems fairly easy. I still feel as if I've got a LOT to learn before I feel 100% comfortable, but I guess that will come with time. After talking to some of my coworkers who have been there longer, they've all told me to relax and that the job takes a good year before one truly feels as if he/she knows what they're doing. I'll say that is a comfort to hear, but all the "veterans" seem to make this job look so easy. Maybe in a year's time I'll be the one offering similar advice to a newly hired employee.

THE BOYS?

Maybe I should say "the lack there of". With starting this new job, I've not really made dating a priority and I'll say I've become somewhat disillusioned with this whole online dating nonsense. Although I frequent "Myspace.com" on a regular basis, I no longer use it as a dating service and I stopped checking out the profiles, but rather use it as a means to socialize with the friends I already know. There are a few guys I"m talking to online who I've met/reacquainted myself with through "Myspace" a while ago. They all seem like nice guys in thier own way, but they all live out of state. Although these guys live in my neigboring states, they're still over an hour's drive away. Also, I've yet to meet any of them in person so who knows if we'll hit it off in person like we did over the phone/internet. Maybe we're all better off remaining as friends?

THE PARTIES

Speaking of Friends, I'll say working this new job has allowed me more time to hang out with my friends and this weekend will be no exception. In addition to my annual holiday party this friday, my friend Allison is having a B-day celebration on Saturday in which we're all going to go Ice Skating. I'm definitley excited about that as I have never gone ice skating before. I just hope I don't fall too hard on the ice. The following day (Sunday) my friend Stacey will be returning form her studies in New Mexico and having a little party. I'm definitley looking forward to that as it has been ages since she and I have hung out.

Ok, I think that nicely updates everyone (all two of them) about the things going on in my life at this perticular moment in time. I'll be sure to keep everyone posted as I continue on this indredible journey known as life : )

Calling the Shots or Am I Just a Sucker?

I know I've been talking about leaving my retail job and even looking forward to this newfound freedom of having my evenings and weekends free for a social life and I still can't wait, but right now I decided to remain at my retail job until January 1st. I know some people might be disappointed in my decision, but I feel I have some good reasons and I'm now in a position where I can call the shots to make this work for my advantage.(I think)

As far as my reasons for staying are concerned, I most importantly can use the extra $. With the holiday shopping season upon us, it's good to have this extra $ to use for shopping and to continue buying nice gifts for my family and to fund the food/drinks/ and gifts for my annual holiday party. Also, I want to do some charity work and maybe make a small donation or be able to buy supplies/gifts for those less fortunate. Although it's unrelated to this holiday, I still want to go to Barber/Cosmetology school and I can use this extra $ to put towards the tuition. In additon to the extra $, I guess you can say I've just been a dedicated employee at this retail job. I've worked there for 4 years and I've made some great friends/ acquaintances and I will say if it wasn't for the managers giving me a good reference, I probably would not have gotten this government job. Also, the place is understaffed and with the holidays fast approaching they really do need people and I feel sorta guilty about leaving. I've never been the type who can just up and leave a job without any notice and every time I've tried to submit my notice, I get this guily feeling about abandoning my coworkers/friends at the job, but I will admit these holiday hours can be a killer. For example, the store is now open until 11pm and today I didn't get out until 11:30pm and didn't get home well until after midnight. Tomorrow I'm expected to work from 2-11:15pm. I'm sure that will be a killer and the following day I might have a rough morning at my government job, but I'm sure it's nothing a little caffein can't fix.

When it comes to calling the shots, it was the managers who approached me and said they "really needed my help" and asked if I could stay until the holiday season. Although I can use the extra $, I don't really need it. I make fairly good money at my new job and I'm sure I'd be able to save up enough $ for school (If I keep myself disciplined with extra spending), but it would just take longer to save up the money since I still have to pay the bills. I also made it clear what days and hours I can work and I definitely made sure I'll have off on the days I can attend my friends' holiday/birthday partys as well as my own party which I intend to have later this month. I also have some extra days where I could make some time for dating one of those cute guys who live out of state ; )

I know I can't continue working this retail job forever as it will still put a serious dent in my sanity and social life, and one of the main reasons of my getting this new job was so I wouldn't have to work two jobs to make ends meet, but I think I've got things under control and I believe I'm in a position where I can leave this retail job at any time. I just got to make sure not to let it go to my head or lose focus of why I'm working these extra hours/days or to let it interfere with my government job because if I were to lose that job, I'll really be a sucker.